In Good Times and Bad …

“Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends.”

Author Unknown   Often attributed to Euripides or Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Sometimes the message is so clear and obvious that more comments are not needed.

Whoever said this understood a basic reality of life:   It’s easier to be a good person when times are good.  The true test of character and all that entails is when times are not so good.

Who are your true friends?

When are you a true friend?

What do you need to do today to live this out?

Getting ready to call up an old friend in the Heartland ….

John

Giving a Hand or a Boost?

“You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.”

William Boetcker in The Ten Cannots (1916)    From Brainyquotes.com:  Often misattributed to Lincoln because the leaflet upon which it was published also contained words from Lincoln.

Time is short today and computer problems abound.

This is a fine statement on the face of it.  Of course, people should help themselves, as most research supports.  Those who have a hand in determining their own destiny and earning their own “keep” are happier and more engaged.

However, sometimes this sentiment is misinterpreted.

“Could” and “Should” are conditional terms indicating the presence of ability and responsibility.  If you have the ability to do something for yourself, you have the responsibility to do it  … no argument so far.

However, the above and similar statements have been used to justify all manner of cruel and  inhumane treatment of those who suffer.

A small child or a disabled person may not have the ability to help themselves in the same way that an able-bodied adult does.  A person suffering from an illness (and yes, I consider drug addiction an illness) is sick and does not have full control of their actions.

Individual responsibility is fine, but not at the expense of our humanity.

A little compassion and a little discernment, please …

At another time, I’ll discuss the role of education in addressing the concerns of many, but be warned – it will involve talking about more support for public programs which help people learn how to help themselves.

Discuss amongst yourselves while I continue my efforts to avoid having to buy a new laptop.

Working hard to the best of my ability in the Heartland ….

John

“Help Me Help You, Rod …”

“God helps them that help themselves.”

Benjamin Franklin

This proverb, definitely spoken by Benjamin Franklin, yes, but also by others farther back in history. As a proverb, it is extremely hard to find first usage, but is this thought is definitely older than Franklin himself, who did popularize it somewhat for the United States.

Okay, let’s deconstruct this one a bit, shall we?

The Actors and Functions:

God, AKA Supreme Being

God is our representation of a higher being of various descriptions who provides the basic guidance for how we live our lives.   Whatever human incarnation of this higher power you believe in and follow will decide to some degree how you live your life.

The problem:  God forgot to include a universal decoder in the box, so we interpret what we think we see in what we perceive or wish God wants us to do.

NOTE:  The above sentiment is not from the Christian Bible, the Koran, the Talmud, or any other religious manuscript.  The gist of it does appear in many religious writings, to my understanding, but not the words.

Those Who Need Help

This would be all of us at some points in our lives.

I am often surprised how some use this to justify reducing or eliminating assistance programs, based on the idea that people in need should be helping themselves instead of receiving help.

I think this attitude misses the point.  Telling people to help themselves is not a bad thing.  In my opinion, we should always look for initiative and motivation from those we help.

When we provide help to those who passively accept it and who do not attempt to help themselves, we enable them to continue in their passive role and retard their growth toward self-reliance.

… Well, except for those on respirators or in comas, or stuck so deep in poverty that they have no resources to dig out with, or those in the grip of mental disease, or those displaced by cataclysmic natural or political events, or those who trusted an organization or a person with their life’s savings, or the victims of stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination, or …. well, you get the point.

Those Who Can Help

This would be all of us at some points in our lives.

What’s that, you say?   The passage only mentions God and those who are supposed to be helping themselves?  Hmmm … does this mean those of us who do not need help need not concern ourselves?  I’m guessing “No” here.

St. Theresa of Avila said it best:

Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours, yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion is to look out to the earth, yours are the feet by which He is to go about doing good and yours are the hands by which He is to bless us now.

St Teresa of Avila

“No hands but yours” ~ sounds like we all have work to do.  Similar injunctions exist in the major religions.

So, for the practical purpose of giving and receiving help, we are ALL on the hook.  Heck, you don’t even have to believe in a God to recognize the basic message here:

Help each other with compassion and love ~ it beats the alternative and makes everyone’s lives a little better.

Trying to figure out what to do in the Heartland ….

John

To Appease Is To …?

“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile – hoping it will eat him last.”

Winston Churchill in Reader’s Digest (December 1954)

 Winston almost makes appeasement sound like a bad thing, doesn’t he?

… and used in the context of putting pacification before principle, history bears out that appeasement does not prevent bad things, but often just postpones them. Winston was a product of his times, as are we all, and his times were unusually conflicted.

However, according  to The Free Online Dictionary:   to “ap·pease” may mean one of three very different things:

“To bring peace, quiet, or calm to; soothe.”

Now this is more like it … appeasement as a source of strength.

 I appease my aching spirit by practicing meditation.  I appease my fears by taking action when I can.  I appease my need for calmness by claiming my right to create quietness in my life .  I appease my guilt over having so much by sharing.  I appease hurt by offering healing instead of harm.

Baby Steps Are Hugh …

“The child is father of the man.”

William Wordsworth in My Heart Leaps Up When I Behold (1802)

I remember my professor in graduate school talking about changing life roles.  He recounted his emotions on holding his newborn son in his hands for the first time, ending with this thought:

“Now I’ve really done it”.

Wordsworth did leave out one thing, but he was a product of his time, so we forgive him.  The child is mother of the woman, as well.

In the narrow sense, having a child places you firmly into a new role and it’s a doozy.   You become responsible for meeting all the needs of another human being, from burping and feeding to providing love and security and on to modeling how to be a good person.

Without the need to do so brought on by those little eyes and ears taking in our words and actions, most of us would not be who we are.  Left to my own devices, I am a relatively miserable being, full of doubts and selfish to a fault.

My children make me want to be a better person.