Repairing the Roof


“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.”

John F. Kennedy     As quoted in Talent Is Never Enough Workbook (2007) pg. 59

Well, it certainly is easier and less messy to do what you need to do before you really need to do it.

Think about cleaning out the garage – never occurs to me on a cool and clear day, when I could pile things in the driveway and still have elbow room to work in a moderately comfortable environment.   That would be be easy:)

What are you putting off that you know you need to do now, while it’s relatively easy and clean?

Even more importantly, why are you putting it off?

Trying to ignore that stack of “stuff I don’t like dealing with” in the Heartland ….

John

Live Dangerously … Be Yourself


“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someboy else’s life with perfection.”

“Far better to live your own path imperfectly than to live another’s perfectly.”

“Much better to do one’s own work even if you have to do it imperfectly than it is to do somebody elses work perfectly.”

The Bhagavad Gita (various versions)

Well, whichever version you prefer, the message appears very consistent – just get out there and be the best “You” possible.

Do not try to emulate others whom you admire.  Adopt what you value.

Do not try to live up to other’s needs or desires.  Meet your own needs.

Do not set yourself up with unrealistic goals or expectations.  Do your best and then relax.

Now … doesn’t this really take some of the load off ?   Who knows, you might even find that being a perfect You is easier than trying to be a perfect someone else:)

Chilling out in the Heartland ….

John

Waving Big Sticks Around and Whispering …


“Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.”

Theodore Roosevelt in Letter to Henry L. Sprague (26 January 1900)

The message here seems clear:   As long as you are armed, people will listen:)

... or maybe it’s that you do not have to shout, if you have power.

… or even that the one with the biggest  stick gets to call the shots.

Bottom Line:  Power creates authority.

So before you get all wound up in the daily activities of this holiday week, take a minute to think about what power you have and how you use it.

What is your “big stick”?

What things provide power for you in your relationships with others?

Do you use it so you can “speak softly”?

How do you use this power with others?

How far has this gotten you?

“How’s that workin’ for ya?”

Bonus Question:  How ethically do you use your “big stick”?

Asking myself those same questions in the Heartland ….

John

Feeling That Good Kind of Pain …


“There are no gains without pains.”

Be relieved that I used a graphic to illustrate this and not a picture of me exercising.  Some gains are not worth the pain;).

Well, this is a fairly well-known saying, partly due to its paraphrased adoption by a commercial interest not named here.  I have heard folks at the gym and on the running circuit repeat this with a somewhat reverent tone too many times to count.

They have “drank the Kool-aid” about the idea of needing to experience pain to do something.

In my past life as a therapist, I know that this dictum holds true.  When we have emotional or psychological issues, but resist experiencing the associated pain, we cannot grow past those issues.   “Stuffing” our feelings usually only leads to continued pain, no resolution of issues or problems, and sometimes we are completely overwhelmed by what we are seeking to avoid.

At work, we are often subjected to situations where honest and sharp emotional responses are in order, but not allowed.

Change often involves pain, in the form of grieving the loss of what was known and the fear and excitement of embracing the new.   Relationships at work, especially those which involve a power differential, create a unique type of pain.  Shattered expectations for advancement, promotion, salary increases, and even just basic job security, generate multiple emotional responses.

I was told as a young manager to “Leave your feelings at home.”  I was expected to work and perform, without displaying any of the emotions which make me fully human.   I was also expected to instill this idea in those I managed.

After a little more experience, I have come to the point where I believe we do ourselves a great disservice by not adopting the “pain for gain” idea in the workplace.   No, I am not talking about the pain of the masses for the gain of the few.  I had something a little more egalitarian in mind.

1)  We want everyone to be engaged, but we do not want to “mess with” emotional responses.  

Then we wonder why the enthusiasm for a new initiative or change is less than ideal.    If we expect people to display the more positive emotions at work, we have to be prepared for them to have the less positive ones as well.

Emotions are windows through which we display our personalities.   Asking people to only show the positive parts does not support honest communication or conflict resolution.

How can we as leaders become more comfortable with a fuller display of emotions at work?

2)  We expect emotional responses to be proper to the occasion, as determined by us and our perceptions of the situation.

We may be excited by a pending change, because we already know or hope that it will benefit us personally.  We do not always consider how that same change appears to others.

Our perceptions do create our realities, but our realities are not other’s realities … and neither’s realities are the truth.

How can we recognize when we in our leadership role are placing our “realities” on others?

3)  We respond poorly to emotional displays and attempt to control or even “outlaw” them. 

People, as a general rule, are uncomfortable with painful emotions, in themselves and even more so in others.    When we uncomfortable, one immediate response is to stifle what makes us uncomfortable.   The reality that this does not address the underlying issues becomes secondary to not feeling pain or discomfort.

How do we as leaders become more comfortable with our own and other’s emotions?

As leaders, we may communicate the attitude that I was taught, that emotions have no place in the workplace.   Maybe we need to communicate a different message.

As managers, we need to use our communication and collaboration skills to make the workplace flow smoothly and effectively.    

 A dammed-up river does not flow, but sometimes the dam bursts.

 Let’s put more energy into helping the river flow than into plans for damage control.

Trying to get into the flow in the Heartland ….
John