“Perfectly Perfect Imperfections” …

PerfectionPerfect Imperfections” … sounds like part of one of those lists of oxymorons, like jumbo shrimp, deafening silence, or military intelligence.  Two words that seem to cancel each other out or are opposites.  The phrase does not seem to make sense.

Some folks spend a great deal of time trying to make perfection … especially during the holiday season, when our vague and often incorrect memories of childhood happiness demand of us that we create the same idealized memories for those we love.

You know … the perfect tree, the perfect gifts, the perfect holiday sequence.

We set standards for our own behavior that would challenge a saint.

We expect to always be right about things, ahead of the game, and in the lead.

We do not accept failure, even partial failure, as inevitable, but view it as unacceptable.

In other words, people who seek perfection are often mentally unstable.

Mental instability comes when one’s behavior and thoughts are at odds with reality to a degree that affects their lives. 

When we set up goals for ourselves that are literally unreachable, we set ourselves up for disappointment at best and almost always for depression.

When we expect to always win completely, we do not know how to lose effectively.

When we view losing as unacceptable, but still lose, we have painted ourselves into a proverbial and emotional corner. 

I wish I could go so far as to claim that perfectionists are psychotic, but let’s reserve that title for those who are truly mentally disturbed.  This is not about deep neuroses or psychoses, but about living our lives in a more effective way.

Perfect Imperfections is both the title of a song (see link below) and a great image for our consideration.  It’s a useful concept that tells us things need not be perfect (as we imagine) to truly be perfect (as we accept and enjoy). 

I would guess that 99.9% of successful marriages, business partnerships, and long-term friendships are based, at least tacitly, on this idea.

What or who comes to mind as you reflect on the phrase “Perfect Imperfections”?

How have you or will you come to peace with your own “Perfect Imperfections”?

Why does all this matter?

Entertaining pleasant thoughts of the loveable imperfections of the person with whom I have shared the best moments of my life in the Heartland ….


Here’s a lovely song that was the first inspiration for this post:  Perfect Imperfection by Kevin Gates on YouTube.

For those thirsting for more examples of oxymorons. click the link and have fun.

Image:  Me and WordArt.

Happenings …

Mental Illness Week AgendaWhat You Can Do …

Click on the poster or HERE to become #StigmaFree and engage in the following:


Go to NAMI and promise publicly to do what you can to erase the stigma of mental illness in our society.  Doing so creates intention, responsibility and accountability.


Check out mental illness information at these sites:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

American Psychiatric Association (APA)

Center for Disease Control (CDC)

Mental Disorders and Conditions (DSM) via PsychCentral

U.S. Department of Health Services (DHS)

BONUS:  Mental Health and The YoungHuffington Post article which outlines the need and how our country is addressing mental illness among our children and young people.


Volunteer with your local mental health organizations, hospital treatment programs, or with a community organization.

Speak out (now that you know facts instead of assumptions) when you hear others misrepresent mental illness and those who suffer from it.

Act politically to support and pass legislation which provides real support for funding and fair treatment within the law for those who suffer from mental illness.

That’s enough to do today:) … I’ll have more tomorrow …

Trying to remember to take my own advice in the Heartland ….


NOTE FYI:  In addition to being a Board Certified Coach (BCC), I am also maintain standing as a National Certified Counselor (NCC) and Master Addiction Counselor (MAC).  In the past, I was a Licensed Professional Counselor in Missouri.  I have worked in both volunteer and paid positions in Texas and Missouri providing education, advocacy, assessment, and treatment.  

Yes, I have some skin in this game …

Become #StigmaFree This Week …

NAMI StigmaFree

Now more than ever, mental illness is part of the national discussion, as decisions are made on how to move forward to address societal concerns.

However, mental illness is also an intensely personal issue which affects people, their families and friends, and our local communities.  This is not something happening to someone else far, far away. 

We owe it to ourselves, our families, and our communities to join in this conversation and to speak from a place of knowing, and not from a place of ignorance and fear.

The message this week is pretty simple:  Lead through example as you publicly commit to learn more about mental illness and how you can help.

Start or continue your process by clicking on the image above or GO HERE to begin your learning process by promising to be #Stigmafree about those who suffer from mental illness.

Join me … I signed on to educate myself so I can be part of the solution in the Heartland ….


Silence …

Silence - Nouwen







… And how often do we willingly give away our right to silence during each day?

Too often, methinks.  

Time to rethink that strategy …

As individuals, we need to reclaim our ability to “just be”, so we can continue to meet obligations and do work.  You can only put out effective effort for a limited time, otherwise … but with silence and the meditation relaxation that accompanies “just being”, we can accomplish miracles.

As leaders, we need to aggressively support and protect those we serve in their quest to do so … and remember to claim that same need for ourselves, once we have taken care of the others.

So …

What can YOU do right now, today, to help others and help yourself, be in silence as you recharge and refresh?

Wondering where I can go to achieve real silence in the Heartland ….