“Perfectly Perfect Imperfections” …


PerfectionPerfect Imperfections” … sounds like part of one of those lists of oxymorons, like jumbo shrimp, deafening silence, or military intelligence.  Two words that seem to cancel each other out or are opposites.  The phrase does not seem to make sense.

Some folks spend a great deal of time trying to make perfection … especially during the holiday season, when our vague and often incorrect memories of childhood happiness demand of us that we create the same idealized memories for those we love.

You know … the perfect tree, the perfect gifts, the perfect holiday sequence.

We set standards for our own behavior that would challenge a saint.

We expect to always be right about things, ahead of the game, and in the lead.

We do not accept failure, even partial failure, as inevitable, but view it as unacceptable.

In other words, people who seek perfection are often mentally unstable.

Mental instability comes when one’s behavior and thoughts are at odds with reality to a degree that affects their lives. 

When we set up goals for ourselves that are literally unreachable, we set ourselves up for disappointment at best and almost always for depression.

When we expect to always win completely, we do not know how to lose effectively.

When we view losing as unacceptable, but still lose, we have painted ourselves into a proverbial and emotional corner. 

I wish I could go so far as to claim that perfectionists are psychotic, but let’s reserve that title for those who are truly mentally disturbed.  This is not about deep neuroses or psychoses, but about living our lives in a more effective way.

Perfect Imperfections is both the title of a song (see link below) and a great image for our consideration.  It’s a useful concept that tells us things need not be perfect (as we imagine) to truly be perfect (as we accept and enjoy). 

I would guess that 99.9% of successful marriages, business partnerships, and long-term friendships are based, at least tacitly, on this idea.

What or who comes to mind as you reflect on the phrase “Perfect Imperfections”?

How have you or will you come to peace with your own “Perfect Imperfections”?

Why does all this matter?

Entertaining pleasant thoughts of the loveable imperfections of the person with whom I have shared the best moments of my life in the Heartland ….

John

Here’s a lovely song that was the first inspiration for this post:  Perfect Imperfection by Kevin Gates on YouTube.

For those thirsting for more examples of oxymorons. click the link and have fun.

Image:  Me and WordArt.

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Some Important Distinctions …


Gratitude - Henry Van DykeI have always liked this quotation, because it makes a clear and important distinction between internal emotions, expressions of those emotions, and actions to reinforce the emotions and words.

In other words, we feel good, we talk about why, we act to create that feeling in others …

I have never understood the compulsion some feel to wax eloquently about how grateful they are to have what they have, and yet do not act truly grateful for that state of affairs.

Gratitude is not about perfection or even “better than most” …

Continue reading

About “Joyous Corrections” and Other Oxymorons …


Mistake - chalk board - Morguefile

“Ah … Excuse Me … That’s Not Right”

My minister used this phrase recently when someone pointed out an error in a statement he had made … yes, we are that kind of church:)

This sparked my thinking about why we usually do not associate “Joyous” or even “Happy” with having to admit we were wrong about something.  

Whether in church, at work, or just hanging around the house, wherever we interact with others, this seems a bit of a problem for some of us.

After much thought, I finally decided that we do not enjoy correcting ourselves just because we ARE Continue reading

A Little Traveling Music, If You Please …


image_thumb.pngI am rather pleased with my recent post on SmartBlog on Leadership

In it, I used the metaphor of packing for a journey to go a little deeper into our leadership heads and focus not on how we lead others, but on how we lead ourselves.

Of course, how we lead ourselves is ALL about how we lead others …

The analogy is simple and easy to understand, but not as easy to apply, especially to ourselves.   We pack for our leadership journeys and include some things, while hopefully leaving other things out.  Our choices about what goes and what is left are key to healthy and effective leadership.

Click the link below to read the entire post:

Leadership and All That Baggage …

What do you think of my observations?

What important things to leave behind did I miss?

What can you do to become aware of those things that might otherwise “sneak” into your preparations for your journey?

Humming along, while I try to get the darn top closed on a very full suitcase in the Heartland …

John