Most of us know this part:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Reinhold Niebuhr‘s lovely and concise guide to living has helped countless people successfully navigate transformational change in their lives. I have used this very phrase both personally and professionally for decades.
Many of us have repeatedly sought comfort from these words of late in response to events both close and far away.
The phrasing is so elegant, the words are easy to remember and say, and everything seems just so “right”.
How many of us have read the entire prayer, which introduces a few more ideas?
“Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.”
Complete prayer from AchieveBalance.com.
Several phrases worthy of note here:
“Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace”
Oh, you mean all my troubles will not disappear if I just choose wisely and trust? This seems to say that we must endure hardships along the way and I see nothing about lifting the weight from our hearts or taking away that hardship.
“Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.“
This seems to show that this is much more about acceptance than about change. Taking things as they are might mean we may need to realize that evil exists and will continue to exist, that humanity is fully capable of horrific acts individually and in groups, and that positive thinking alone may not cut it.
This sentence also includes the lovely phrase “not as I would have it”, which neatly identifies a major psychological stumbling block for many of us, me included.
“That I may be reasonably happy in this life“
Ahem … the word “reasonably” just jumps out at you, doesn’t it?
Not “supremely“, “completely“, or “absolutely” … just “reasonably“.
Apparently, happiness is not an absolute, but a quality, which can increase or decrease. we may need to change that perennial question “Are you happy?“ to a more, dare I say reasonable question of “How happy are you at this moment?“
Side Note: Whether Niebuhr actually authored this prayer is in some dispute, but here is the original version of the well-known part:
“Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other.”
Now you have some other things to consider next time you utter those well-known words.
Begrudgingly thanking Paul Harvey for the inspiration for the title of this post in the Heartland ….
John
It has always been one of my favorite prayers.
Why am I not surprised?:) It’s one of mine too …
My mother-in-law was in AA for over three decades and I was introduced to the serenity prayer, along with much other thinking, by her. She was a lovely lady and much missed. As an addictions therapist, I used the prayer as an exercise in critical thinking, helping others pull it apart, find the deeper meanings, and apply them to real-life situations … Invaluable.
Thanks for commenting, Elizabeth
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Thanks for your comments, Jane.
Knowing how full your plate is, I’m impressed that you have time to even read them, much less reflect and share.
I suppose that the deeper the pain, the more lasting the lesson or something like that. I’ll admit I still struggle with the presence of deep pain and sadness in life.
Oh well, even the Eloi had their impending doom … they just didn’t think about it. If you don’t know this reference, look up “The Time Machine” film from the 1960′s on IMDB. Yes, It’s that old a reference:)
BTW, Happy Anniversary and hang in there with the health issues in the family.
Makes perfect sense to me. We don’t become expert sailors on calm seas. I’ve never understood why it takes adversity to build strong character or it takes pain to appreciate pleasure, or muscles have to tear to become strong. Humanly speaking – none of that makes sense. And why must we endure deep sadness to realize joy comes from within, not from circumstances that provide fleeting happiness and fickle feelings of contentment. Humanly speaking …. i wonder. God has a plan and his ways are higher than our ways. Love your posts. Sorry I have only rare moments to comment.